recently ive been trying to make new images in the outside and in the studio. but without going forwards. the results have been perfectly reasonable but just not substantial enough for me to be excited by them. perhaps im getting bored by photography again or perhaps im just making photography boring for me. what excites me about making photographs is spotting little secrets. the story of a boy doing this or that. the extraordinary ordinary events of everyday. a place im not comfortable or familiar with. insecurities bring wonder and wonders. ive come across a problem and that is that im seeing everything i find pleasing as a new challenge. better me. and i go to work to try and get close to the magic of a particular set of images. and im finding that i can get close. close enough for me to gain confidence. but its not at all satisfying. its not my work. it doesnt excite me. but i feel i should continue in this way because its more viable. i always said i could never make work in england. i think whats true is that im not involved in what i do here. or at least ive not found a way to be yet. note: eurovision is on but silent. i just saw some amazing visuals from the russian entry. beautiful. but j. this thing is awful. work is on my mind a lot but i dont want to write about it.
today i decided to try painting. my first attempt was pointless. i enjoyed the second one. i painted only until my brush ran out of paint from the first dip. i found a leaf and made some marks. its shown above. the images below are 1. of my right hand after painting. 2. i made a golden apple for a photograph - this is it.
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