a page from someone else's book

this is the first image i shot with 5x4 sheet film. its cropped very slightly as, whilst i managed a straight horizon, the stripped subject was not quite central. the exposure/focus were good. 

i've been reading, quite slowly, a book of short stories by nabokov which is a fantastic book. and last night i watched tarkovsky's solaris for the first time, although i was disappointed when it ended after only 1.5 hrs or so. i think i must have the original version which was heavily cut. i think i need to realise the potentials between literature and film/photography. so i've decided to pay more attention to this. yesterday i went in search of the grapes of wrath which im told is an extraordinarily depressing book. i didn't find it so i bought 'one day in the life of ivan denisovich' which is a ' brutal shattering glimpse of the fate of millions of russians under stalin'. i'm told i will ' discover the importance of a piece of bread or an extra bowl of soup, the incredible luxury of a book, the ingenious possibilities of a nail, a piece of string or a single match'. this sounded quite appealing. i want to feel devastated. or rather, i want to be under the illusion of feeling devastated.  

tool

chapter one. not too sunny, not cloudy. various outfits and bits of cloth. two shots. this was the first shoot with the castaway. i look forward to seeing how they come out and whether or not i made mistakes. it was quicker than i expected and i think i may have rushed it. saw something and shot. i dont know how much i thought about it. in any case it will serve as a test. next chapter = results. i think theyre going to be awfully generic though. how boring.

goodbye hasselblad

i bought a large format camera the other day. we went to cambridge to collect it and had a lovely day walking along the river under a blue sky. as i cant afford it im selling my hasselblad. whilst this is a beautiful machine and takes splendid images, i dont use it that much + its square. 

i shot a roll of film to make sure there were no light leaks and to check out a possible location for an idea i have. im not 100% convinced. theres too much going on in the background. i enjoyed using this camera for the last time. byebye.

note: need to sleep earlier and be more productive.

special

this is my very own piece of magic. i hung him yesterday. i greet him in the morning. he never looks at me. thankyou for the magic. more: [here]

this boy was beautiful

i wanted to leave the photo of me upside down at the top so that it felt closer. like it just happened. things have happened and its gone now. petros stayed for a week and anna came too. we edited a short film called 'the boy next to me'. im not sure if i will see the boy and girl again. they are both pretty. i am spending my days thinking about what to do and not doing much. i will write a list with tick boxes next to them.
this was a beautiful boy. he wore pretty clothes and a charming smile which disappeared in this photo. on that afternoon i walked around with a white board and asked strangers to let me make a photograph. i will attempt to compile my photos. i will attempt to make more. i will attempt to build a coherrent series of events. i will add these to the list. i should have taken an address, i think we could have been friends. right now im shoegazing