ma

a short additional post. tonight’s meal was in fact much more enjoyable than the previous nights. one thing i forgot to mention is that when there is enough people to split the group into two tables there becomes a male and female table. i sit at the female table. tonight, after someone asked how i address qingweis parents (this is often asked) i was asked to call qingweis mum, mum. i asked why at first but obliged to rapturous applause, which made me a little embarrassed. qingweis mum gave me some fish and we continued the meal. not long left here.
click [here] to see the paintings that hung on the wall of the resturant room.

light, colour, a little boy

yesterday there was a wonderful light. late afternoon hazy yellow light. it made me feel warm. we sat in the lounge reading and playing with yaya, drinking wine and eating monkey nuts. later we went out to walk and hopefully take some pictures. but as usual i saw many people i wanted to photograph and not the courage to ask them. we came across the 'home' of a homeless. there was a snowman next to a clock built into the wall, a toy gun and doll. we took pictures and walked on, spotting the homeless who's home this was. we walked past several times and finally i asked to take a photo. he declined. several moments later a police car drove very slowly past with those riding it looking towards my location. i was sitting down behind a tree out of sight. we left promptly.
as we walked to meet qingweis parents for hotpot, i found out that they had arranged for me to go and film at the earthquake shelters the next day early in the morning. a government representative would accompany us.
during hotpot i was as grumpy as i could be. a terrible mood i was in. it continues to last even now but decreases slightly i believe. i could try to explain why this mood developed but it would be pointless. however, hearing people talking about me whilst i eat and not being able to understand completely nor reply whilst pretending that i really dont mind that was killing me. the same things were asked in jest or curiosity but no smile or attempt to answer was made. i kept my head down and pretended not to hear. i have been through this routine before and last night i didnt feel like participating in it again. instead i thought about what the hell i was going to shoot the next day. i hadnt really made a plan and had only a couple of hours to come up with one. i noticed that there were some fascinating textures in the room. golds and reds. i also noticed that the air conditioners were pumping out copious amounts of boiling hot air to mix with the smoke already there. i slid open a window only for it to be closed shortly after.
i didnt eat much. instead i ate some chocolate after walking home in silence.

this morning we left for the mountains of pengzhou. we met the government official who had arranged for me to meet someone living in a new house and planned where we would shoot. our first stop was at a fantastic place - i had noticed it on the way and hoped to god i could film there. a whole town of shops had been completely destroyed and nothing had been done about it until now. there was now a whole street of temporary shops. i spotted a hairdressers under a blue waterproof sheet. i thought i should like to interview the owner/customers. i made a quick shot of the fallen street and the government official (guide) assured me that further up this road was more impressive and besides, we could return to this place later, so we left.
we arrived at an estate of new houses. 1000 of them for those who had lost their homes. we met one man waiting outside his home who had prepared tea for us. he looked very wary and didnt want to talk about much. i got him to give me a tour of his house and a short interview. he was happy with his new home. in fact he had been allocated two homes for his five family members. he will rent one out. he then took us to look at some farm land which he was in charge of. it looked pretty interesting for farm land, but it was farm land and i didnt want to film farm land. the next stop was a section of the blue shelters i mentioned in a previous blog post. i filmed one family in their temporary home and tried for the life of me to get a young boy to run down the 'street' of shelters into a home but with no luck. too many people had gathered and kids dont take direction easily. an interview was conducted over much noise behind us. i dont think i will have got much of her voice. another boy who i interviewed was rather nervous and answered with yes and no's only. a beautiful shot but unusable. i wish id just got his to sit there an stare at the camera. that would have been really beautiful. hindsight........
after filming some cooking in a communal kitchen it was time to leave, our guide had left which meant we were no longer allowed to film. with only 40 minutes of footage captured, we started to make our way home. alas, i did not get to film at the first location. this is a big frustration...
i was asked if i was satisfied. i am happy with what i had the opportunity to shoot but wish i could have shot much more for i am left with not enough footage to do much with by itself and am unable to return to make more. well, it was an interesting experience.
thanks must be given to qingweis parents who went to the effort of arranging this for me. im sure it wasn't easy. also to the people that helped me today.
im still moody and believe i am eating outside with some people tonight. i want to stay in and eat chocolate.

as usual, most images shot were on film but please click [here] for some snaps taken over the past couple of days.

after li jiang

we're back. the flight home was a little unsettling being rater turbulent. we were sitting near the front of the plane where its seems you feel much more movement. it didn't help that one of the stewards kept announcing in a shrill and shaky voice that we were going to hit more every few minutes. nor did the baby sitting a few seats down that screamed continuously. i assured qingwei several times that we are not having children any time soon during this din. we landed at chengdu airport to find it absolutely packed, this is due to the chinese new year of course. our driver was on his way having got stuck in traffic. when he arrived half an hour later he took a wrong turning...circled back and then another, having to drive back to the airport and start again. so it took rather a long time to get home. anyway, a little about li jiang...
li jiang is a town of yunnan province which if you're looking at a map of china is in the south west bordering burma. it is a town surrounded by mountains, sitting approximately 2,500 feet above sea level and is a world cultural heritage site. the climate at this time of year is still fairly mild with temperatures around 15.c. we had at least several hours of decent sunshine every day often with clear deep blue skies all day. li jiang has a long history and the houses are apparently up to 800 years old all being made largely of wood. there is a lot of clean water running through the town which is used for washing clothes, food and bodies (live ones) in which you can see a lot of fish as well - this is very rare in china. normally they would be caught and eaten or unable to breathe for the polluted water.
the place we stayed at was an 'inn' called 'you ran ju' which like the other houses in the town was a very old traditional styled chinese home. it had a lovely courtyard where we ate breakfast in the mornings and another where there was live music in the afternoons - although we were never around to watch it. the downside was that the windows didn't close, the electrics and plumbing were rubbish and most other things didn't work either. but for 5 days it wasn't a problem.
after i had recovered from illness mentioned below, we walked around to take a first look at the town. i should mention here that there are basically 2 li jiangs. the old and the new, each on one side of a mountain. we were staying in the old li jiang. (see images linked at bottom). what we saw was shops and more shops all selling what appeared to be the exact same things. there was the occasional restaurant and if you searched long enough a convenience store for the essentials oh, and bathrooms - and these were something special. the nicest bathrooms i've ever seen in china. feeling slightly disappointed (apart from the great bathrooms) we made plans to get out of the town over the next few days.

the next day we had an early breakfast in the fresh mountain air and left for la shi hi where we were to ride horses along part of the silk route. we arrived to find that we would in fact be riding along a small dirt track. the silk route was in the mountains and that was accessible via a 3hr trek and more expensive ticket. so we mounted our horses. i soon noticed that mine was not attached to the others via a rope. he lacked behind and then suddenly ran to catch up, stopped to eat and then ran ahead of all the others and down a different path. he tried barging past the other horses on a very narrow bridge almost falling in on the way. but i have to say that whilst it was pretty scary at times, it was fantastic fun. we arrived at a wetland and took a boat out into the water which was a relaxing break from having my back broken. i think the point of this boat ride was to see some pretty huge birds that fly there for the winter from siberia. it was nice. sun bounced off the water. cold breeze against our face and freezing our hands. we rode back and caught a lift to another smaller town where we ate noodles and bought some cushion covers. the place was similar to li jiang but less commercial with far fewer people.
i've written too much now so the rest is going to be in note form.
next day my back ached from the horse. at night we went to see a show about the 26 minority cultures of li jiang which was impressive at times but tacky at others. the music was recorded, the actors mimed - they perform the same thing every day. still worth seeing, just didn't feel an authentic experience. slightly plastic.
at some stage we drank wine at a bar with a guy playing guitar and singing - and his voice... amazing... so deep. he had long hair, dark skin and a seriously fantastic voice. the bar was called 'blue bird' apparently. all the other bars were playing awful awful modern 'tibetan' rave music with people in ethnic minority costumes dancing with lights flashing, l.e.d's, lasers - whatever. as you walked past, people outside screamed in your ear over the music to go inside... so this blue bird place was the only place to be - real mellow. the music was still quite loud - it had to be so you could hear it over the other crap - and there was a real nice view looking up the mountain which was flood lit at night. we did in fact walk up this mountain to look over the town and visit what we thought was a temple at the top which after paying an entrance fee we found was made in 1997 and only housed yet more things for sale. this didn't stop some visitors from walking eyes fixed upwards, hands clasped together as if praying, towards the only image of buddha in the joint. however, the sun was shining again and we sat at the top for a while before heading back down.

on the last day we picked up some gifts for people and mementos for ourselves including a seriously amazing hand made leather bag and caught a plane back to pengzhou. flying over mountains is amazing. really amazing. and then a shrill and shaky voice came on the loud speaker...


most of the photos we took were on film but we took a couple of snaps on a digital camera which you can see [here]

before li jiang

yesterday a decision was made as to whether or not we were going to go to yunnan province to visit li jiang. the decision was yes. today we went to arrange the flights and hotel for the trip which is a very generous belated honeymoon gift from qingweis parents. li jiang is a known for its beauty and local ethnic culture and is a popular place for couples to visit. im looking forward to the higher temperatures it offers. the forcast this week is for temperatures around 17'c.
we leave for the airport at 7:30am tomorrow morning and will return on saturday - just in time for the start of spring festival.
In the afternoon I drank tea and then had dinner with qingwei's classmates during which i felt umconfortably spare at times. The light in the teahouse was very soft and gave the golden wallpaper a warm glow. i took a picture.

unfortunately the rest of this post is not saved as i lost my internet connection and i dont want to type it out again. its two days later now. briefly: we went afterwards to have bbq food which is slightly different from ours and more spicy.

a few hours later this had made me incredibly ill. i didnt eat for a day and a half just having sips of water. even the thought of food was unbearable. so the flight to lijiang and first day there was not fun. i spent it in bed. recovering slowly.

its a nice place. the light is great. we are staying in an old style chinese with the curved roof tops.
its very geared towards tourists though. the streets are all lined with gift shops and people constantly come up to you asking if you want to go on a trip to wherever which is a bit annoying as it makes me feel a little uneasy when i want to feel relaxed. i will post again with some images at some point.

click [here] for offending items

merry lunch, somber afternoon

today's lunch was mushroom hotpot at a place i last visited this time two years ago. i had returned to pengzhou without qingwei having become ill in the mountains of songpan where she was working. today was to celebrate the forthcoming new year (of the ox) with all the family present. a small speech was made at the beginning reflecting on the happiness and sadness brought by 2008.
hotpot originated from sichuan province and involves a large bowl in the middle of a table heated from below full of food of your choice - usually a mixture of meats, organs and vegetables. there are different varieties of hotpot but today we had mushroom hotpot which consisted of mushrooms and a chicken. however, there was a fantastic variety of mushroom and they made the water in the pot, which you drink as a soup, a wonderful flavour. later we added several vegetables including lotus root and had steamed meat buns (baozi) and sweet glutinous rice cake as sides. we filled a room with people sitting at several tables and toasted to the coming new year - xin nian kuai le, and wished for good fortune - gong xi fa cai.
i was thinking as i ate how often i see my own cousins and other relatives. not very often. i thoroughly enjoy how close chinese families are. they often live close by and sometimes even with each other. more often than not we will have lunch at qingwei's nana's - wai po - with several other relatives and enjoy fruit and conversation afterwards. i bring a notepad. sometimes it can feel too much but mostly its just really nice.
after the family meal we walked slowly back to xian tinghongs home where we watched a dvd of footage taken during and in the hours after the earthquake earlier in the year. this was really difficult to watch and made me realise how terrifying it would be to experience such a thing. it was a little bizarre watching it sitting comfortably in a house that had been rocked by the same earthquake. as i type, yaya, qingweis toy poodle, is playing with her pink sleeping gown and i am thinking about getting another toffee.

click [here] for more images

cats

ive just spotted the two cats that last night kept me awake. unfortunately i had nothing to throw out the window at them. i might go down later and scare them away. these cats make the most awful noise ive ever heard and they make it all night long. imagine a baby screaming. then take away its favourite toy and smack it. make it smoke 100 cigarettes so its voice is course, put this all through an amplifier and you have something like what these cats sound like. ive not been sleeping well in any case and being woken every so often by this noise is rather annoying. quiet is a precious thing.
i also found out today thay i dont have an actress anymore. she pulled out because her father and boyfriend decided they didnt like the idea of her doing it. apparently the boyfriend travelled from another province to argue about it with her. thats pretty sad. so im feeling a little fed up about that. i might be able to film some people living in shelters after the earthquake and make some kind of documentary but im not sure if it would be interesting and im not really a documentary film maker. i wouldnt know how to approach it. i think the people id be able to film are rather old and footage of people sitting around all day might not be that great.
we've been offered the chance to travel to yunnan province for a short break which might be nice but id feel frustrated going not having made any work. hmm. i might take to asking interesting looking people on the street if they want to be in a film. theres lots of interesting looking people here.

sixth generation

a small tribute to lou ye, jia zhangke and their contemporaries. today i began watching summer palace by lou ye who is director of one of my favourite films, suzhou river. suzhou river shows us a man who is a videographer and who falls for a girl with an imagination. he shows us this man without ever seeing more than his arms and legs which soon become our own and we begin a story that doesnt end. its pointless to give any clear details about certain films and this is one of them. i should just say it changed things for me and was highly influential in helping shape my own ideas of narrative and identity within cinema.
summer palace is quite a departure from suzhou river. ive just decided not to write about its content but instead briefly on how i felt whilst watching it.
i felt my heart start to beat heavily inside of me and stopped breathing for brief moments. i could almost feel myself being pulled into the emotions of the characters as i unwittingly recalled everything that could make it real for me. the film is unsettling and involves the viewer in its discomfort. its difficult. its beautiful.
i forgot to mention that the only version of this film i could here (summer palace is banned and as a consequence for its making its director is too from making films for 5 years. the second time he's been issued this punishment) is one without english subtitles. my chinese is still not what it should be and so my experience of this film was 'limited' by this. ive enjoyed many films in this way and i dont think it damages a viewing to much extent. so long as you don't hold onto your own ideas of whats said too strongly. its impossible to do this with films that rely very heavily on dialogue though of course.
i have to say whilst im here that for me, often the experience of film is a little like that of music and indeed most of my favourite films use music / sound as an integral part of the narration / story. for example; all about lily chou-chou, akira, blue velvet, chungking express. there is a strong relationship between the two in the way they function as an art form i believe. i enjoy films i cant fully grasp as i do with music. i thoroughly enjoy not being able to understand the lyrics in a song when voice is used. without this you hear tone and rhythm like every other instrument. theres nothing to decode.

for my own plans: i found out my actress has a very traditional boyfriend which will make it difficult for her to play the role i'd written. im considering a different approach in a smaller town near the countryside, or rewriting the story in the city to be suitable for her to play a part in.

where once there were houses

today we visited a town located in the mountains an hour outside pengzhou where many lost their lives and homes in the earthquake that hit sichuan on may 12th 2008. i'd seen pictures on the bbc of a couple getting married at an old church built in the mountains by the french 100 years or so ago which had become a local attraction. the pictures showed the church falling apart during the earthquake. its now closed off to the public whilst its being cleared of debris - a very slow process - but the people we went with persuaded the guard to let us walk around the ruins for i was a foreigner and had come so far. this was embarrassing but kind also.
we saw bridges that had collapsed, a school that had been raised 3 metres along a fault line (fortunately the whole building stayed intact as it rose so the students survived), so many houses destroyed and thousands living in temporary shelters. the chinese prime minister wen jiabao will be visiting this area over spring festival (chinese new year) so we also saw scaffolding up along a whole street for the buildings to be re-painted for the occasion.
it was really impressive to see how many new homes had been built since the earthquake. some are being built amongst the rubble of the houses that once stood there and others are being built on what i assume must have been farmland.
apparently these house are all being built by the local community with funds from the government. although there seems to be some standard approved design that everyone is adhering to as they all look the same but not unattractive. their appearance is like something you might find in sunnier parts of europe - villas with coloured clay tilled roofs.

theres a story on the news at the moment about millions of yuan meant for the those affected by the earthquake that have gone missing. 3 millions were siphoned by the pengzhou police department for no-one knows what. this is not an uncommon event in china.

it was quite something to stand on rubble that was once someones home and to see a town being rebuilt by those who had lost the old one.

click [here] for more images

crossed fingers on the bus home

we met long yang and yang ling yi last night. we ate hong kong style food and dreamt of chungking express. we didnt really discuss their roles much as i didnt want to tell them too much too soon and give them things to worry about. theirs is a love story with slow moments for now.
maybe tomorrow we will go to visit a place where buildings have been turned to dust by the earthquake.

good morning pepsi

my first night of reasonable sleep here. tonight im hoping for more.
today we are going to chengdu to meet the actors.
i will sit by the lake and write some more of the story whilst i wait.
im telling a story that already happened so its really an editing of my memory to make it more interesting and relevant to others.
*getting out of bed and having my first breakfast in 3 days*