yesterday there was a wonderful light. late afternoon hazy yellow light. it made me feel warm. we sat in the lounge reading and playing with yaya, drinking wine and eating monkey nuts. later we went out to walk and hopefully take some pictures. but as usual i saw many people i wanted to photograph and not the courage to ask them. we came across the 'home' of a homeless. there was a snowman next to a clock built into the wall, a toy gun and doll. we took pictures and walked on, spotting the homeless who's home this was. we walked past several times and finally i asked to take a photo. he declined. several moments later a police car drove very slowly past with those riding it looking towards my location. i was sitting down behind a tree out of sight. we left promptly.as we walked to meet qingweis parents for hotpot, i found out that they had arranged for me to go and film at the earthquake shelters the next day early in the morning. a government representative would accompany us.
during hotpot i was as grumpy as i could be. a terrible mood i was in. it continues to last even now but decreases slightly i believe. i could try to explain why this mood developed but it would be pointless. however, hearing people talking about me whilst i eat and not being able to understand completely nor reply whilst pretending that i really dont mind that was killing me. the same things were asked in jest or curiosity but no smile or attempt to answer was made. i kept my head down and pretended not to hear. i have been through this routine before and last night i didnt feel like participating in it again. instead i thought about what the hell i was going to shoot the next day. i hadnt really made a plan and had only a couple of hours to come up with one. i noticed that there were some fascinating textures in the room. golds and reds. i also noticed that the air conditioners were pumping out copious amounts of boiling hot air to mix with the smoke already there. i slid open a window only for it to be closed shortly after.
i didnt eat much. instead i ate some chocolate after walking home in silence.
this morning we left for the mountains of pengzhou. we met the government official who had arranged for me to meet someone living in a new house and planned where we would shoot. our first stop was at a fantastic place - i had noticed it on the way and hoped to god i could film there. a whole town of shops had been completely destroyed and nothing had been done about it until now. there was now a whole street of temporary shops. i spotted a hairdressers under a blue waterproof sheet. i thought i should like to interview the owner/customers. i made a quick shot of the fallen street and the government official (guide) assured me that further up this road was more impressive and besides, we could return to this place later, so we left.
we arrived at an estate of new houses. 1000 of them for those who had lost their homes. we met one man waiting outside his home who had prepared tea for us. he looked very wary and didnt want to talk about much. i got him to give me a tour of his house and a short interview. he was happy with his new home. in fact he had been allocated two homes for his five family members. he will rent one out. he then took us to look at some farm land which he was in charge of. it looked pretty interesting for farm land, but it was farm land and i didnt want to film farm land. the next stop was a section of the blue shelters i mentioned in a previous blog post. i filmed one family in their temporary home and tried for the life of me to get a young boy to run down the 'street' of shelters into a home but with no luck. too many people had gathered and kids dont take direction easily. an interview was conducted over much noise behind us. i dont think i will have got much of her voice. another boy who i interviewed was rather nervous and answered with yes and no's only. a beautiful shot but unusable. i wish id just got his to sit there an stare at the camera. that would have been really beautiful. hindsight........
after filming some cooking in a communal kitchen it was time to leave, our guide had left which meant we were no longer allowed to film. with only 40 minutes of footage captured, we started to make our way home. alas, i did not get to film at the first location. this is a big frustration...
i was asked if i was satisfied. i am happy with what i had the opportunity to shoot but wish i could have shot much more for i am left with not enough footage to do much with by itself and am unable to return to make more. well, it was an interesting experience.
thanks must be given to qingweis parents who went to the effort of arranging this for me. im sure it wasn't easy. also to the people that helped me today.
im still moody and believe i am eating outside with some people tonight. i want to stay in and eat chocolate.
as usual, most images shot were on film but please click [here] for some snaps taken over the past couple of days.
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